Fantasy Roles
By Wicked Temptress

Sometimes my partner and I like to role-play during sex. Role-playing can be fun and can spice up your time in the bedroom. But it's always important to set ground rules and know when your partner may be ready to stop. In this article I would like to briefly discuss role-playing and the various ways your partner can let you know when they've had enough. First let us discuss what role-playing is and what it may include. Role-playing is when someone (either you, your partner, or both of you) pretends to be someone or something they are not. For example, you might pretend to be a wealthy man, while your partner might take on the role of a prostitute. You might pretend to be your partner's boss, while your partner plays the role of the naughty secretary.

 There are different ways that role-playing can be done. You and your partner can simply take on different roles (merely speaking the roles you decide to play), or you could go all out and even dress the part. Some couples go even further than that and take the role-playing out of the bedroom. How do they do this, you may wonder. Well, let's use our example of the wealthy man and the prostitute. The couple might choose a specific area, like a street corner, or a cafe where they can meet. They would both dress the part of their roles and act them out as if it were really occurring. If they choose a street corner as their meeting place, then he might drive up and act as though he were picking up a real prostitute. After which, they would rent a motel room to play out their roles further until they proceed to have sex. Needless to say, you must be very careful when attempting something like this. You must be sure that your partner is comfortable with everything....

You must be especially careful of the area or place you choose to meet. It's exciting to play these roles, but you never want to put yourself or your partner in any danger. So keep that in mind. No matter what type of role-playing you and your partner decide to do, sometimes either of you may get too involved in the role you are playing or things may go too far. In times like these it is always important to have a way for you or your partner to let the other know that you've had enough of the game.

Some couples set up a "stop word". A stop word can be any word the couple agrees on. This word is only said when one of them is ready to stop role-playing and can be said at any time during the role-playing. If you choose this method, you must remember the stop word that you and your partner agreed upon the entire time you are role-playing. It may sound rather redundant for me to say that, but when the role-playing becomes that involved it can be very easy to either not remember the stop word or not realize your partner is using the stop word to end the game.

Another way either you or your partner can let each other know you are ready to stop role-playing is to make up an action/gesture that will only be used when it is time to end the role-play. This can be any type of signal/motion/action you and your partner can think up. Just like the stop word, this signal may be used at any time during the role-play. Once again, it is important that you remember this gesture during the role-play so that you will know when your partner has reached their limit.

You may even choose to take further measures to make sure that both you and your partner will enjoy the role-play session. By discussing what you or your partner do not want to happen, or rather what your limits are before the game begins will not only better ensure that both of you will enjoy yourselves, but will also lessen the possibility that the game will be interrupted or stopped. Even if you choose to do this, you must take into consideration that there are things that might occur that neither you or your partner may think of or plan. Because of this it is a good idea to also either choose a stop word or a signal that can be used when such a thing may occur.

If your partner does happen to stop the role-play before it has been played out, do not become angry with them. Instead, be considerate of their feelings. There was obviously a reason your partner chose to end the game. Perhaps they suddenly became insecure or unsure about what you were doing. Whatever the reason happens to be, it is important to be sensitive to the issue, and perhaps even address it if need be. Remember this is suppose to be fun for both of you. If your partner felt the need to signal you to stop, then their enjoyment has come to a halt. More than that, as mentioned above, your partner may have developed some concerns and may need to be reassured before continuing on. Or they may wish to stop that role-playing session altogether. Communication and understanding is not only a key factor to having a good, healthy relationship, but also key to having a good role-playing relationship with your partner. It's a game, and should not become more important than your partner, their emotions, or your relationship with them.

Just because your partner may have chosen to end one role-play session, does not mean that you both can't try it again. Perhaps your partner only needed some reassurance during that particular session. Perhaps they suddenly became uncomfortable with that particular session.

If the latter of the two is true, then perhaps your partner would try to take on different roles with you. There are endless possibilities as to what you and your partner can play out. It's possible that it may take a few tries for either of you, or both of you to find something that works for you both. Don't let this discourage you. When you finally find what fits for both you and your partner, your role-playing experience will be exhilarating for you, your partner, and your relationship.